I wrote before about the constant admonitions we make to our children to "be nice." My parents were no different. Whenever I would express dislike for someone, my mother would say, "
no sea odiosa; Dios te va castigar." "Don't be hateful; God is going to punish you." And I would immediately plaster a smile on my face and pretend all was well.
My mother can no longer tell me what to feel about whom, so now, I do it to myself. I beat myself up mentally because I simply do
not like everyone. There is one particular person in my immediate circle who grates on my nerves
just by existing. Even when this person does absolutely nothing, I cannot stand to be around them. I ask myself, "am I a bad person?" Then I think, "Lightning is going to strike me for my hateful ways!"
I am a month away from my 39th birthday and as a gift to myself, I have decided to no longer beat myself up over this issue. I know for a fact that sometimes
I am the person who grates on another's nerves just by breathing the same air. There are times when no matter how hard I try, I still face rejection/disdain from another. So why should I be wracked by guilt over
my feelings? I resolve to observe my feelings when I am around this person and try to find the origin of my dislike for them. If I cannot, I will allow myself to feel what I feel without judgment.
1 comment:
I kind of don't agree that we can not just simply like a person. We were born with a natural loving nature. We aren't born disliking. We learn to dislike along the way. To dislike someone there must be something in that person that reminds us of something tramautic that we encountered along the way. It is proven that a loving person has a longer life expectancy, more joyful and peaceful. Let's not settle with saying, I simply don't like this person. Let's take a look inside of us and see what is in this person or thing that makes me react this way? What changes have to take place in me toward a more fulfilling life? What is the missing link?
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