Write it Down, Make it Happen

I just finished reading a book by Henriette Anne Klauser titled Write It Down, Make It Happen. The title says it all; if you write down your dreams and goals, they will come true. It seems a bit simplistic, but it works. I've discovered journals from years ago where I've written about my aspirations and have been surprised by how many of them actually came true. There is one catch, though (isn't there always?) -- those things that you have the least attachment to will likely come true before those that are most important to you. Let me put it this way, writing down your hopes, dreams and goals is a little like planting a vegetable. You need to dig a hole, drop in the seeds, water it every day, but detach from the result. If you dig up the seeds every day to see if they're growing, they're not going to grow. Why not? Because you're hampering their growth. But if you step back, in a few weeks, some green leaves will break through the ground and a few weeks after that, you'll have a full grown plant.

When I was 28 years old, I was desperate to meet my "soul mate" and get married. I am from Honduras and according to my family, at 28, I was way past my expiration date. My sisters, including my younger one, had all married by no later than 25 (and even that had been considered "late"). For me, it wasn't so much the marriage that I wanted, it was a child. I wanted to be a "young" mommy and at that point, it just wasn't happening. In the heat of that desperation, I wrote a journal entry where I said that if I was not married by age 32, I would have a child by myself. I was a professional woman; I could raise a child as a single mother.

By the time I turned 32, I had left the practice of law and was working at a job that was law-related but not as stressful. I had just purchased a co-op apartment in beautiful Riverdale. I'd recently broken up with Big Bren and was dipping my toe back into the dating scene. One day, Big Bren called and we decided to hang out. As they say in campy novels, "one thing led to another," and we ended up having sex again. We agreed that we weren't getting back together and went back to our separate lives. About 4 days later, I had a dream where I was standing in front of a mirror, horrified, because I had found a gray hair. In the dream, I was bemoaning the fact that I was 32. While still in the dream state, I tore my eyes from the offending gray hair and noticed that I was pregnant! I woke up in cold sweat. The journal entry came rushing back to me. "No, no, no! Please, God, no! I was just kidding. I was a stupid child back then. I do NOT want to be pregnant! I CANNOT be pregnant!" (I figured if I spoke to God in exclamation points, She would have no choice but to listen.) I went on: "What will my mother say?? She's going to kill me! What will I tell the people at work?" I continued to bemoan my fate until I feel back asleep.

When I woke up, it all seemed like a bad dream. I felt no different, so I decided to will myself back to non-pregnancy. For weeks, my body cooperated. I had no morning sickness; in fact, I had no pregnancy symptoms whatsoever. A few weeks later, I decided to test the Fates and took a pregnancy test and there they were, the ominous two lines.

The rest of the story: my mother didn't kill me, although she came close; I was no longer the old maid in the family (just the harlot); I married Big Bren; and the best part -- I had my Brendan.

When I picked up the book, it was with the intent to make all these great things happen: publish my book, get out of the rat race, etc. But I also did so with desperation (again!) and attachment to the end result. I am convinced that the reason I got pregnant at that time was because, by writing it down, I set my intention in stone; and, most importantly, allowed it happen without attachment to the result. At the time I made that journal entry, there was nothing more I could do about it -- it was 4 years in the future! So I let it be. Yes, your words have power -- they are coming from the deepest part of you and the part that is connected to your higher source. But they should come from a place of peace and surrender.

Happy writing!!