Lose the Fear
Brendan was off for a few days last week, so I took him on a Mommy and Me adventure. It was wonderful. We laughed, we pigged out and we got to connect in a way that we don't get to do when we are rushing around trying to get to school on time, get to karate and all the other things he does. And I discovered a few things:
(1) I genuinely LIKE Brendan. Of course, I love him. He's mine; if I don't love him, who will? But I really like him as a person. He is witty, smart, adventurous, has a great sense of humor and enjoys life.
And (2) I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of being alone or of trying new things or dying or not having. At least not in the paralyzing way that fear used to grab me. I can live in the moment now and feel no need to project what is going to happen tomorrow, next month or ten years from now.
Strangely, losing the fear and the need to know has made me more willing to try new things and take a few more chances. Hurray for the year of living fearlessly.
Brendan was off for a few days last week, so I took him on a Mommy and Me adventure. It was wonderful. We laughed, we pigged out and we got to connect in a way that we don't get to do when we are rushing around trying to get to school on time, get to karate and all the other things he does. And I discovered a few things:
(1) I genuinely LIKE Brendan. Of course, I love him. He's mine; if I don't love him, who will? But I really like him as a person. He is witty, smart, adventurous, has a great sense of humor and enjoys life.
And (2) I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of being alone or of trying new things or dying or not having. At least not in the paralyzing way that fear used to grab me. I can live in the moment now and feel no need to project what is going to happen tomorrow, next month or ten years from now.
Strangely, losing the fear and the need to know has made me more willing to try new things and take a few more chances. Hurray for the year of living fearlessly.
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