When I was younger, one of my favorite shows was Quantum Leap. The protagonist had created a time machine and he could leap from time to time fixing problems in people's lives. These weren't minor issues; these were events that would derail that person's life and altar the course of his/her future. The only caveat was that he could not do it in his own form. So, his soul -- I don't remember how they explained it, but that's what I understood it to be -- would displace the soul in that person's body. In the meantime, the other "soul" had to sit in a "waiting room" somewhere while he "fixed" the problem.
There are times in my life where I wish I could be that displaced soul -- just chillin' somewhere while someone else handles the crap. There are situations that I find myself repeatedly in that I don't want to experience again but do not know how to get out of. There are circumstances that I wish I could fast-forward through; where my very skin tightens up and my heart starts to pound. Events that bring you to your very knees; where no matter what choice you decide to make, it feels like the wrong one.
My sister would say to take a deep breath, let go and let God. But sometimes, it feels like God is just not moving fast enough ....
Musings about mommy-hood, work, love and life.
1 comment:
Welcome back!!! I was missing you. I like this entry very much. I can sense exactly what you are saying. This morning I had a similar experience. There is this pastor who is very angry at me because she feels I am stepping on her toes and I am in the wrong. This morning while praying, God brings to my mind the text in the Bible that says, that if I am praying and I am at the altar of the Lord, and I remember that someone is angry or has something against me, to stop what I am doing, go to the person and ask for forgiveness and then come back, otherwise, my prayers wouldn't go past the ceiling. Well, I thought of the pastor. This little voice deep inside of me, told me, be there by 10:00a.m. so I ran (figuratively speaking, you know you can't run anywhere in here). At that moment I wish I was at quatum leap. My throat was dry and my legs were trembling, as I stood at this woman doorstep. I rang the doorbell twice and no answer. I was relieved. I had obeyed and was rescued.
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