I have a confession to make: I get tired of being "Mommy" sometimes. There are days when I don't want to hear whining or complaining or backtalk. When I don't want to be the keeper of shoes, the bather, the dresser, the feeder, the cuddler, the goodnight storyteller, the toenail clipper or the boo-boo kisser. Some mornings I don't want my eyes pried open before I am ready to awaken. I don't want to hear arguing over whose pretend friend is cooler. It is psychically exhausting to have your entire existence be about someone else.Alec Baldwin got a lot of flack a while back for calling his daughter a "thoughtless little pig." While I don't think I could resort to calling a child that to his/her face, I will 'fess up and say that I have thought it. That and "ungrateful little pig." And that was just yesterday when, after working the full day, I picked Brendan up from daycare and thought it would be nice to take him out to a dinner that he would enjoy (pancakes at the local diner). No sooner had our food been served that Brendan started acting up, backtalking when I asked him to pick up his place mat and yelling at me that he wanted me to pick it up. He then took a few swats at me. I have to admit that this was atypical behavior for him -- and that resulted in his being punished -- but the hatefulness, the lack of gratitude and thoughtlessness (even for a 5 year old) was cause for disappointment.
I love my child more than anything in the world; I would give up my very life if he needed it. And sometimes I feel like that is exactly what I do every day.
2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. Sorry, that this won't come as a consolation, it does not get better. They grow older, and they think you owe them your life for bringing them to this world. That you have to live the rest of your life being their slave. They are more of a help when they are younger, because they want to prove to you that they can do it and they are invincible. Once they grow older, they think you owe them for the 9 months you were used an instrument to carry them in your belly and give them life. There is no sense of consideration, of love or/and gratitude. Sorry, it does not get better. We, as mothers, have to learn to love the agape sort of love. This love that conquers all. The love that does not despair; the love that knows how to wait and be patient, to advice, correct, reprimand, nurture, to supply and totally deny yourself for the creature that was brought into this world. The blessing and treasure from God.
Oh my goodness. I feel that way now and my child is grown. Just today I said to myself, I am just tired of doing all this home stuff, etc. It is overwhelming. I say enjoy them when they are young, because when they get older as the other writer states, these kids do believe that you owe them something (even when you get the "I am grown") Children are a blessing, but sometimes you just want to put them by their boot straps :)
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