Mommy and Me

Bren and I had an idyllic week together - just he and I.  The house was quiet.  More importantly, the house was clean!  We ate what we wanted; did what we wanted.  Am I evil for enjoying it so much?

Everything you should know about kids, but no one bothered to tell you

In honor of a good friend who just recently had a little one, I am republishing this:

 

Everything you should know about kids ...

• Whoever coined the term “sleeps like a baby” to mean deep, restful sleep probably never had children. Sleeping babies are the most unrestful beings you will ever witness. Not only do they wake up every few hours to eat, but while they are actually sleeping, they: flail their arms (sometimes hitting themselves in the face and waking themselves up); they twist and turn; they whimper and cry; and they pee and poop.
• The “Terrible Twos” last from 18 months until 18 years.
• A two year old will refuse to eat anything you make, but if Grandma makes it, it’s going down without a fight.
• At some point in his life, your son will want to be a princess for Halloween.
• All young kids are fascinated by poop.
• A three-, and even a four, -year-old does not mind spending the day with a piece of crap stuck to his bottom.
• Speaking of which, before your child turns 3, make sure you buy stock in Fruit of the Loom. I cannot tell you the number of briefs that went straight from my son’s bottom into the trash can.
• You will understand every single word that comes out of your two-year-old’s mouth, even when it sounds like complete gobbly-gook to everyone else.
• "Home Decor" to children means figuring out where to stick the boogers: the wall or the ceiling. Bunk beds are perfect for ceiling-booger decor.
• Once the kid comes out, your body fat migrates to parts of your body where you didn’t think fat could exist. I have back fat now. Enough said.
• The skin literally falls off your nipples within three weeks of starting to breastfeed your bundle of joy. Oh, and by the way, that hurts. A lot.
• After feeding a child with your breasts, you will never look at them the same way again. (Your navel will be able to look directly at them, but you won’t. Never. Again.)
• Talking about breasts, you might want to refrain from telling a four-year-old what breasts are really for. That is unless you don’t mind him screaming in the middle of A&P, “Mommy, why can’t I drink milk from your breasts anymore???”

Despite all of the above, you will love your child(ren) more than life itself. You love them so much, it’s actually scary. So maybe, just maybe, it makes it all worthwhile. :-)

Negative Motivation

My siblings and I have been struggling with the fact that our children are classic underachievers -- smart kids who refuse to take a single extra step for their own betterment.  Not a single valecdictorian, honor student or even hard worker in the bunch.  They sit back and wait to be clothed, fed and coddled.

Last I spoke with my oldest sister, she said something that made me think.  She said that despite our parents' obvious lack of parenting skills, we all finished school and graduated with good grades.  And we are all hardworkers; each of us has been working since the age of 15.  So, how did they do it?

We got nothing for "free."  We had chores that surpassed those of grown women (cleaning the house, cooking, washing, ironing, etc.).  And we got clothes once a year; if your clothes got holey or worn out before then, it was too bad.  Our parents never directed a kind word to any of us.  No "I'm proud of you," or "you did good."  No "undeserved" kisses or spontaneous hugs.  But if we messed up in anything, we would hear for months how "useless" we were and how we would amount to nothing.

For whatever reason, those vitriolic words motivated us to prove our parents wrong.  So, are we "too good" to our children?  Is our unconditional love and support damaging them, instead of helping them?  Who is to say?

It's really sad when only negativity can motivate you.  I have lost 17 pounds so far; but what gets my butt in the gym is not seeing my size 10 pants practically falling off me or being able to wear clothes that have been sitting in my closet for three years.  No, it's not that at all; rather, it's seeing the rolls of fat still on my back and the spare tire that refuses to budge.

My son's go-to phrases when he doesn't want to do something is "I don't know how to do it" (most often than not said before he even tries) and "this is boring."  So I ask myself:  do I "motivate" my beautiful son by berating him for failing/refusing to do something that I know will benefit him (like his homework or practicing his sports) or do I keep being loving and supportive despite any purported lack of achievement (because, really, how much can you really achieve at six years old)?  That is a doozy of a question.